Notes To Myself

On 'Have You Ever Loved A Woman?'

The idea is to present an intellectually compatible couple struggling to communicate emotionally. "Relationship based on mutual respect." What exactly does one mean by that term? Respect for what? I wonder if the premise of an disillusioned married life of a 'successful' (toast of the town?) couple is an ideal setting to probe this question. Intelligent, talented and most importantly, independent, strongly opinionated characters. What happens when her self worth completely depends on the success of her marriage, her relationship with her husband? She begins to mould herself (unconsciously) into someone she is not, misunderstanding her husband's expectations. What happens when he sees the end result of her transformation in one flash but does not try to understand the cause for it? He blames himself for not seeing her for what she was (not realising that she has become what she has because of her perception of him!) and hurries to make amends for his error of judgment. He leaves her. An uneventful married life that hides well the deep crack in the relationship. Question is how long can one keep up a pretense/misunderstanding (how long can two deaf men keep up a conversation?), even if it is unconscious? During a crisis, emotions reach a crescendo, especially suppressed ones and things split wide open. All other mundane & practical difficulties in a normal married life to be kept to a minimum.