Notes To Myself
The idea is to present an intellectually compatible couple struggling to communicate emotionally. "Relationship based on mutual respect." What exactly does one mean by that term? Respect for what? I wonder if the premise of an disillusioned married life of a 'successful' (toast of the town?) couple is an ideal setting to probe this question. Intelligent, talented and most importantly, independent, strongly opinionated characters. What happens when her self worth completely depends on the success of her marriage, her relationship with her husband? She begins to mould herself (unconsciously) into someone she is not, misunderstanding her husband's expectations. What happens when he sees the end result of her transformation in one flash but does not try to understand the cause for it? He blames himself for not seeing her for what she was (not realising that she has become what she has because of her perception of him!) and hurries to make amends for his error of judgment. He leaves her. An uneventful married life that hides well the deep crack in the relationship. Question is how long can one keep up a pretense/misunderstanding (how long can two deaf men keep up a conversation?), even if it is unconscious? During a crisis, emotions reach a crescendo, especially suppressed ones and things split wide open. All other mundane & practical difficulties in a normal married life to be kept to a minimum.
Labels: dissection
Meera @ 12:31 PM| permalink
5 Comments:
As far as I can see, all relationships are based on what you get out of them, mainly avoiding boredom.Or fear of loneliness.If you can have intellectual discussions with the other person, it makes you feel important and boosts each others' ego. Thats all there is to it. I dont see the necessity for any analysis here.And all our emotions are ruled by our intellect anyway.
All relationships fail becasue no one can keep you "entertained" for too long.He/she starts to become predictable and you have children to make your life interesting and end up regretting it forever. Plus, children can be a good tool to dump all our crappy opinions and beliefs, since no one else listens to us.
Maybe the fundamental issue is that all of us think that we will be happy if we have a certain something in our life which is missing now. Because whatever we have now is not making us happy enough. There must be something more. This leads to all kinds of preverted and neurotic activities including marriage. Maybe things would be much simpler if everyone was happy for no reason, like during childhood. Cause nothing else seems to work anyway.
Anonymous.
COMPLICATED!!
complicated, it is. but i cant seem to get it out of my head!
interesting...but i thought "notes to myself" was to be about writing style and so on, to throw light on the making of the piece...about the literary side.
But this sort of psyche-analysis makes your blog sound like oprah winfrey :) Simply because nobody knows enough in such cases other than the two people involved...Even if it is the author who created them :)
Its difficult to be objective with the word "respect, especcially the range of its intensity.
Think about the best relationships that cease to be absorbed by the fragility of life, they are unconditional, drenched with acceptance.Tolerance, acceptance, and unconditionality, would be 3 words i would use to try to figure out how relationships work.
ps: "in making the absurdities and caricatures fit in so naturally with the landscape that the latter would look incomplete without them" - Bang on, thats what separates GGM from the martels etc.
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